I Cared More About Valentine’s Day When I Was Single

When I was single, Valentine’s Day felt like a big deal. I couldn’t make it through the holiday without crying about how I was never going to find love, about how I was going to end up alone, about how no one would ever want me.

Around the same time each year, I tortured myself by scrolling through pictures of couples kissing and announcing their engagements. I felt like everyone had a relationship except for me. I felt like I was missing out on the most important day of the year.

Weirdly, now that I’m in a happy relationship, Valentine’s Day isn’t even a blip on my radar.

I’m going to swap presents with my forever person on February 14th, but other than exchanging chocolates and possibly a bit of jewelry, the event doesn’t feel like that big of a deal.

On Valentine’s Day, we are going to eat a meal together, but we always eat meals together. We are going to spend quality time together, but we always spend time together. We are going to remind each other how much we care, but we always remind each other how much we care.

When you are in a happy relationship, Valentine’s Day isn’t much more exciting than any other day of the year. 

This might sound disappointing, but it’s actually something that makes me proud. I don’t wait around until the holidays to spoil my person rotten. I don’t treat him any differently on special occasions than I do on average evenings. We always put each other first. We always make time for each other. We always say, “I love you.”

I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where affection is stockpiled for milestone moments. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where I count down the days until a holiday because I will finally get the attention I have been lacking.

No one should have to wait until Valentine’s Day in order to get swept off their feet. In happy relationships, couples get that butterfly feeling all the time. It’s not saved for holidays. 

When you’re in a healthy relationship, you quickly realize Valentine’s Day is not all it’s hyped up to be. Most years, it’s not going to look the way it does in the movies. You’ll be satisfied with a movie in bed and a bottle of wine.

When you’re single, it’s easy to get the wrong idea about Valentine’s Day. You might feel miserable about being stuck at work or sentenced to a night home alone while couples are out, having fun — but do not assume your friends in happy relationships are having the time of their lives. Do not assume the day is any more special than any other day.

Chances are, your couple friends are also working. Chances are, your couple friends are also staying home. Chances are, your couple friends are having a pretty basic night, not some rom-com worthy romance.

If you’re single this Valentine’s Day, don’t let your loneliness get the best of you. Don’t assume everyone else is having the time of their life because their plans are probably not as exciting as you think.