I Don’t Understand Why You Stopped Texting Me

I don’t understand why you stopped texting me. I guess you felt differently about me than I felt about you, but I have trouble believing that when our connection felt so strong.

When we used to text, the conversations would last for hours.

You seemed like you had genuine feelings for me. You would compliment me. You would tell me that you missed me. You would make me feel like I mattered.

Now that you’re out of my world, I can’t seem to find closure. I can’t stop myself from questioning what went wrong between us.

We never had any arguments. I never did anything to push you away. At least, I don’t think I did.

Maybe I came on too strong and scared you away. Or maybe I didn’t make my feelings obvious enough and you assumed that I wasn’t interested.

I can’t tell why you stopped texting me, because it happened out of the blue.

One day, everything was fine. The next day, you were gone.

I keep rereading through our old conversations to figure out whether I said something offensive. Whether there was hidden tension I failed to notice at the time. But I can’t find any red flags. Our last conversation wasn’t any different than our usual conversations.

I don’t understand why you stopped texting me, because we got along so well. I thought we were headed toward a real relationship. At the very least, I thought we were friends. I thought you considered me someone you could trust, someone you wanted to keep in your world.

I don’t understand why you stopped texting me, because I didn’t do anything wrong. I treated you well. I never called you out when you took to long to answer me back. I never suffocated you with too many double texts. I respected your boundaries.

I keep telling myself that your disappearance is only temporary, that you are going to reappear soon. Every time I hear a notification, I check the screen for your name and feel my stomach drop when it’s not there.

I want to believe that your phone broke and you needed to get a new one. That there was an emergency in your family and you haven’t had time to text anyone back. But after all this time? That can’t be it. There can’t be a reasonable excuse.

As much as it kills me to admit it, you aren’t texting me because you don’t like me the way I like you. I realize that now. I just don’t understand why.

Maybe you grew bored of me. Maybe you found another girl, a better girl. Maybe you were only texting me because you were bored and lonely and desperate. Maybe our conversations never meant as much to you as they meant to me. Maybe I misread all of your signals to see what I wanted to see.

I don’t understand why you stopped texting me, but I am going to accept it. I’m not going to fight against it. I’m not going to beg you to be in my life.