I Never Want To See Your Fucking Face Again

I am never going to respond to your texts.

I am never going to accept your friend requests on Facebook or Instagram.

I am never going to approach you if I see you out in public.

I am never going to put on a fake smile and have a casual conversation with you, as if nothing bad ever happened between us.

I am never going to let our history, or my past love for you, convince me to do something as stupid as allow you back in my life again.

I am going to do everything within my power to never see your face again. You don’t deserve a place in my memories, so you certainly don’t deserve a place in my current life.

I am not bitter. I am not dramatic. I am not overreacting.

I have a right to cut people out of my life. I have a right to say that I don’t want you around anymore. I have a right to do what is healthy for me, even if it means that you are going to throw a fit.

You brought this on yourself. I gave you a million chances, but I am done playing nice, just because I am used to having you around. I am done acting like you might have had a perfectly good reason for doing what you’ve done, just because I don’t want to believe that you’re capable of being so shitty without a reason.

I don’t want to hear your apologies anymore. I don’t want to hear your excuses. I don’t want to hear your voice.

I don’t even want you to wish me a happy birthday. I don’t want you to send me a Christmas card. I don’t want you to text me when you’re drunk, telling me how you’re so sorry that things went down the way that they did.

I don’t want anything to do with you and I can’t imagine that changing anytime in the future — but luckily, I’m finally learning that cutting you out of my life is okay.

It is okay for me to ignore your messages, and even for me to block your number.

It is okay for me to tell my friends that I don’t want to talk about you anymore, that it hurts too much to think about.

It is okay for me to decide that I am worth more than the way you have been treating me. It is okay for me to raise my standards and my expectations towards the people I allow inside of my circle.

Cutting you out of my life doesn’t make me childish. And it doesn’t make me a bitch. It makes me smart.

Because the dumbest thing I ever did was put up with your bullshit for this long. And I’m done. I’m done being treated like I mean nothing to you. I’m done acting like the situation between us is healthy. I’m done playing nice.

And that is okay. Because I am allowed to do something for me.