I Rage Against The Trials Of Love

I’ve made a couple hundred mistakes in this lifetime;
Collecting stones, like treachery hurts if only in my mind.
I sing to you, the words they used to praise me with, now turned to wilting leaves making a mess on your floor.
My flowers are dying, how did I get here from where I was before?

Time stole from me my patience for material things;
Loud girls laughing from next door rooms, knowing they’ll turn the moment they get what they want from me.
So I stayed on my side of the creek, watched from afar the troubles they set in their minds to seek.
I sway like a windy night, but never to anyone’s side;
Alone and alone, in a tiresome, made-up, hand-painted land.
Waiting for someone to come over and take me by the hand.

Insecurity —
My mind trails lost thoughts of the people I’ve loved, then disappointed.
This train keeps going, lighted by the fluid of anxiety slowly letting my heart flood.
It’s time I step out of this feeling, and into my old new skin;
Where luck and optimism, confidence and persistence were everyday moments of life
During the time all I once felt was light.

I watch through a gold lens filter; the years of my early youth that have flown by.
I think of the tree we used to stand under, when we started to see butterflies.
We shared secrets and stories and made each other happy.
I really was happy then.
I think of the melody passing me by, of a song we sang high up in the sky;
Looking at tiny people and our hometown, while we slowly spun around.
I think of the abandoned rooftop garden that we made ours;
In the middle of summer, when you bravely took my hand.
I really was happy then.

So much of me lives through you.
Fear of endings is something I cling onto.
But memories pass so they can be made again.
It’s time I found myself, and found the friend I’ve lost in you.

This is how our story should play;
You and me in our old-time ways.
I’m never going to leave, you are always going to see me, just like you used to.
The waves are changing, our ships are passing — it’s time I gratified myself for holding onto you.

We were made for a reason —
Paper planes flying, silver bells chiming,
City signs burning, my heart on fire.
We were made for the passing nights and middle of Julys.
No matter the earth-shattering distance, no matter the overwhelming emotions.
Living life, and learning through life, all by your side.

We were cascading lights;
A reflection of all our resistant time.
All the pain in our minds washed away.
You are my safest place.
My warmest embrace.
With an honest exchange,
Our lost fate…
…resurrected to life.