I’m Done Fighting For A Spot In People’s Lives

I’m done trying to work through the one sided friendships, the lets-hang-out-soons and the girl-i-miss-yours that stay lost in Facebook comment chains.

I’m done with the inconsistencies.

I’m done trying to reach out, trying to make plans, trying to check in, only to be left with “seen at” timestamps, or the girl-im-always-so-busy that really say “you don’t mean enough for me to respond, you’re not really that significant in my life for me to make time for you”

I’m done with having people tell me how special I am, how great I am at this and that, only be left wondering how I would possibly mean so much to people when their actions speak far louder than their words.

I’m done being thoughtful, remembering significant events, sending out the good-lucks for job interviews, the congratulations for special events, only to wake up on my own important days to a lock screen with no message notifications, no one remembering me, no one thinking of me.

I’m done being the friend that would move heaven and earth to be there for others, to make time, but only gets support when it’s convenient.

I’m done trying to be someone significant in people’s lives, trying to feel like I matter. I’m done trying to stay in their lives, initiating conversations, trying to stay in touch with people who I meant something to at one point but now no longer seem interested in keeping me.

I’m done trying to fight for a spot in people’s lives when no one ever needs to fight for a spot in mine.