I’m Not Dating And My Life Is All The Better For It
By Amy Horton
I’m not someone who has ever been good at dating. I don’t have the time or the patience to play the game. I don’t want to deal with all the miscommunications, the bad dates, and the conversations that fizzle out before I even meet a guy in person. It is, quite honestly, more work than I’m willing to do to find a man.
That’s because I know I’m okay on my own. I enjoy my life. I have a million interests and I’m never bored. If anything, there’s not enough time in the day even when I don’t add a boyfriend to the mix. I want to build an amazing existence for myself regardless of my relationship status. A guy will never bring me as much joy and fulfillment as the other components of my world. My happiness has to come from inside me.
I’m still human and I still get lonely. I do want romance, and love, and a partner who is everything I never dreamed I’d actually find. I’ve been a hopeless romantic since I was a kid and I don’t think that’ll ever disappear from my DNA. I’m jaded now, yes, but that hopeful optimism does live somewhere inside me.
The difference between my dreamy-eyed youth and now is that now I know what I need. I know I can’t settle for less and I know that something so specific won’t be easily found. I also have better priorities than I once did. I’m in my thirties. That means my dating pool has shrunk considerably. More importantly, though, it means that I need to find my true life path as soon as I can. I’m getting there, and I’ve been figuring it all out because I don’t have any male distractions in my life.
Every time I’m tempted to devote my precious time and energy to finding a partner, I think to myself, is this worth it? I’ve gained such impressive ground by focusing on myself. I’ve done a lot of work in the last two years to fundamentally change the way I see my life and myself. It’s brought an immense amount of good into my world. It’s been the difference between life and death.
No man has ever given me even a tenth as much as I’ve learned to give myself. My recent forays into the modern dating world have afforded me nothing but frustration and discouragement. I don’t know why I would put in effort when it seems most men can’t be bothered. I’m not going to worry about it, because all that happens when I do is a greatly decreased sense of satisfaction with my life.
I’ve learned that I’m much better off when I do what I know makes me happy. I’ve never had any trouble spending time on my own. I’ve never been someone who has to be around people all the time. I enjoy solitude, and I know I’m lucky to feel that way. There are many out there who stay in relationships simply because they are afraid to be alone. I’m incredibly fortunate to have no problem going it solo.
I’m not dating and I’m content. Yes, I hope someone comes along who warrants me considering changing my stance, but I’m not going to put my life on hold until he does. I’m going to continue to build a happy and healthy existence that makes me joyful every single day.