I’m Not Going To Half Love You Just Because You’re Broken
By Farah Ayaad
I’m not going to stop seeing how beautiful you are because your fucked-up life made you not believe that you are. I’m not going to shame you for the hell you put me through because you don’t know what love is. I’m not going to forget how capable you are because you’re tired. I’m not going to stop searching for you because you’re a little lost. I’m not going to call you boring because you’re depressed.
I’m not going to stop admiring your intelligence because you call yourself stupid. I’m not going to judge you for the mistakes you make, I’m not going to hold your decisions against you, I’m not going to half respect the person you’re becoming.
I’m not going to make you feel insecure about other men in my life to get back at you for not giving me the validation I need from you. I’m not going to make you question your worth or self-confidence because you’re making me question mine. I’m not going to let you doubt that I care for you, I’m not going to do something that will sabotage our connection.
I’m not going to hurt you because you’re hurting. I’m not going to hurt you because you’re hurting me. I’m not going to hurt you because you expect me to, I’m not going to hurt you because you secretly wish I was like everyone else you know. I’m not going to hurt you because that’s not love.
Love doesn’t break you, it heals you. Love doesn’t make you an asshole, it turns you into a better person. Love doesn’t make you sad, it brings you joy. And love, it doesn’t make you perfect, but it makes you whole, it brings your broken pieces together.
I’m going to love you in the way you’ve never been loved before. I’m going to fight by your side when all you do is fight me. I’m going to challenge you, not push you to the limit. I’m going to trust your words, I’m going to have faith in your vision. I’m going to hug you when I’m mad at you, I’m going to look at you when I want to shy away, I’m going to come to bed when I want to run away the most.
I’ll love you the way I know how but I won’t forget about what I deserve. So, I’ll give you all the space in the world but I won’t let you take me for granted, I’ll be patient but I won’t wait for you forever. I hope that your dreams will come true, I hope you find what you’re looking for, I hope you’ll be happy even if it doesn’t include me.
And I hope that as you wander away, you come closer. I’m not letting you go, I’m just setting you free.