How To Break Up With Negative Self-Talk So You Can Lead Your Best Life


Things are heating up out there – and I don’t just mean the weather.  This is an intense time of major patterns coming up for awareness and release.  Translation: you may be feeling stuck and/or extremely stressed. You may also be experiencing something where you are thinking, “Oh no, not this again!”

We all get stuck in bad habits that we default to when we are not consciously working to change them.  Things like people pleasing, reacting to life with a victim mentality, indulging in anxiety and worry, dating unavailable people, or negative self talk are patterns that may be up for you right now. The good news is that there is major support from the Universe right now around deconstructing patterns.

Bottom line: It is time for a breakup with patterns of thinking, feeling, reacting and behaving that are holding you back!!! Today I have a step-by-step process that I share in a vlog and also outline below.

I highly encourage you to use the momentum in the Cosmos to consciously release a pattern.  Know that you won’t be doing it alone – we’re in this together! Here’s how (for more details watch the video):

1. Investigate the pattern. Put on your spiritual scientist hat and set aside some time to mediate and/or journal on a prevalent feeling, belief, or behavior that is limiting you.  Investigate it without judgment.  Learn everything you can about how it developed and the ways it affects your life.

2. Find the payoffs. The costs of patterns are usually easy to recognize, but every pattern has a payoff otherwise it would no longer be operating. Consider what engaging in the pattern gets you. For instance, do you get to be right? Safe? Protected? Liked? Tuck this awareness away; we’ll come back to it later.

3. Create a ritual or ceremony to release the pattern. It is important to do something that is a declaration of your liberation. Your unconscious mind (which is responsible for 90-95% of your behavior – seriously!) responds VERY well to ceremony or ritual.  Examples: writing up a contract, burning what you are releasing, releasing a rock or some other item into the ocean or throwing it into the woods.  Get creative here!

4. Commit to new actions. Awareness catalyzes change but does not create it. Only change in behavior does.  Determine new ways of reacting and acting that will get you a similar payoff the old pattern did, but in a healthier way. For instance, if you are a people pleaser because it made you feel liked, then your new way to get that same payoff is to be self-loving.  INsource rather than outsource your acceptance.  Then make a list of CONTRARY actions you can take to consciously break your pattern.

5. Start a 40-day practice. Your patterns became habits because of repetition. In order to rewire your brain and break up with all those unconscious thoughts that have driven you in the past, you must repeat new behavior.  Commit to doing something everyday for 40 days that supports you in developing a upgraded pattern.  For example, if you are breaking up with the pattern of worry and worst-case-scenario thinking, you could spend 5 minutes everyday visioning desirable outcomes.

Take advantage of the heat that the Universe is providing all of us right now to break up with what is not working in life.