Maybe It’s Okay To Be Negative Right Now

Maybe it’s okay to be negative right now.

Maybe it’s okay to be negative because you lost a human that meant the world to you. Perhaps that human was your father, or perhaps it was your mother or your sister or your brother. Maybe that human was your son or your daughter. Maybe they were your forever human. Or, as Dr. Christina Yang would say, perhaps they were your person. Maybe when you close your eyes and think of the significant milestones in life, they were there—and now they’re not. They were the person you used to call when something good happened, or when something terrible happened, or when you just wanted to hear their voice and have a chat that made your heart smile. And now you can’t do that anymore.

Now your heart doesn’t feel like smiling, because they’re not here.

Perhaps their death was untimely and horrific and something that came out of nowhere. Or maybe it was something that you were expecting. Either way, it still packs a punch. It still feels as if you cannot breathe, and the loss cuts beyond your heart—it’s as if you can feel the pain in your bones. Maybe you didn’t even say “I love you” the last time you saw them, and now that’s all you can remember. You thought about it, but you didn’t say it. You didn’t say it because you felt that they knew, so why repeat it? But now they’re not here. And now you can’t say it to them, and that kills you a little bit every time you think about it.

Maybe it’s okay to be negative right now.

Maybe it’s okay to be negative because you’re mad. Perhaps you’re upset because you encountered something unfair, unjust, or just plain old mean. Maybe your feelings are hurt, and they’ve been getting hurt, and you cannot seem to remember a time when they weren’t. Perhaps you’re mad because you’ve been disappointed too many times, and you’re starting to believe that the world is unfair and everyone you meet has better luck than you. Maybe you’re negative because the paths that you’ve set out on have roadblocks and you’re tired of finding new routes.

Maybe it’s okay to be negative right now.

Maybe it’s okay to be negative right now because you’re in an unfortunate season of your life. Or a bad way. Or your heart hurts and you cannot seem to shake yourself of this ache. Maybe pretending everything is fine when it’s not isn’t positively serving you.

But maybe that’s the key.

Maybe it’s okay to be negative right now so that you can feel the disappointment and the anger and the sadness and learn from them.

Maybe you need to understand what brings you down so that you know how to be better at seeking the things that will bring you joy.

Maybe when you let yourself be negative but not live in the negative—that’s how you climb your way back to a positive mindset.

Maybe.