People On Twitter Are Sharing Their Worst Dating Experiences And They’re Hilariously Cringeworthy
In case you haven’t heard, modern dating sucks. If you haven’t been on at least one terrible date, you’re one of the lucky few. Please look away as the rest of us bond over our shared trauma.
ANYWAY, Twitter user James Coston convinced a bunch of people to dig up their past skeletons and relive them for the sake of the Internet, and hey, at least they’re pretty funny.
quote tweet the worst date you've ever been on
— Louligan James🇺🇸🇬🇷🇺🇦 (@JamesCoston) September 19, 2017
Get ready for the shit storm.
https://twitter.com/MarySueSays/status/910348239215394818
My friend Pam wins this 1. She went to a hockey game. He brought his brother & when she went to the b'room, the game ended & they forgot her https://t.co/lqe6knBJcO
— Chris (@maize_rage) September 19, 2017
At a bowling alley, showed up 30 min late, didn't offer to order drinks b/c he had a Mike's Hard tallboy before. Quoted Big Lebowski nonstop https://t.co/MmJvz9mbbT
— Lindsey Kramer (@lindseyakramer) September 20, 2017
I am cringing so hard it hurts.
https://twitter.com/pianobug/status/910249498521239552
He called himself the king of lesbians and owned a crossfit gym… That he lived in. https://t.co/3niRMiCYNx
— What is a name, even? (@KellyDotGov) September 19, 2017
Some of them were, um, a little personal.
Met a lady from Bumble and she physically cringed when she saw me. Fun next hour for sure. https://t.co/7WArtP7e7T
— Bray Riott (@BryanQuinnn) September 19, 2017
https://twitter.com/Trudiagogo/status/910358954441674752
There were a lot of stories about people who may not have been as single as they said…
Other than the ones where I found out mid-date dude was married? https://t.co/vINYeUOWX9
— Kacy Sager (@THESagerbomb) September 19, 2017
Went to a concert (got McDonald's before the show, classy) where he "ran into" his ex girlfriend & they disappeared together after 1st song https://t.co/FcRVt1DG9F
— Marielle ⚓️ (@marielle922) September 19, 2017
Took her to a concert. Just as Bon Jovi comes on, she says “My boyfriend loves these guys.” https://t.co/nL65Sv1TEv
— Josh Guesman (@jguesman) September 19, 2017
And then there’s this dude, who had an entire saga to tell.
My worst was a start to finish nightmare. But in a comical way I suppose. She suggested we meet at a bank. Calls me saying "where are you!?"
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
In a kind of annoyed tone. I reply "I'm at the bank. Where are you?" She says "oh I'm across the street at the gas station. Brt." -_-
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
Then she shakes my hand like we are entering a business deal and immediately starts walking up the street. Says she has a favourite pub.
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
She was almost my height (6'1") and walked incredibly fast. Out of breath trying to keep up but not pant while I talk. 😂 we get to the pub..
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
It's the sketchiest possible dive bar. Walk in the door and the bartender starts pouring her a wine before we even speak.
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
Her wine arrives and I order a beer. She immediately skulls it and it's gone before my beer arrives. Orders another one while I take 1st sip
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
We make small talk and then when her wine arrives she drains it again. I say "should I get another?" she says no cause she's buzzed.
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
So she suggests we go for a walk by the water to walk it off. Start walking and again have to try to keep up with a mild jog.
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
Out of nowhere she takes off her heels and says "sometimes I love to run." And I'm like "oh yeah? Running is cool…."
She starts running.
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
As she's fading in the distance I'm thinking "did she just bail on this date by running the fuck away!?"
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
I continue walking towards her at a normal pace as it was towards my apartment anyway. She gets about a mile away and turns back towards me.
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
Comes back completely out of breath and says "wow that was fun!" Turns towards the beach. Walks down to the sand while I'm in jeans/shoes.
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
She's wearing a dress that goes down to her ankles almost and just walks straight into the ocean to about waist deep. It's dark outside.
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
She comes out and is soaked and covered in sand. So we go to the feet washing station. She rinses off. But it's got an overhead bar shower..
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
So of course she jumps up and starts doing chin-ups in a crowded area. Crushes out probably 10 free weight fucking chin-ups. 😂
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
Then immediately says "okay I should probably go home now."
I offer her a ride because I live only a few blocks away. Get to my car…
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
She says "oh you're a fucking douchebag. You drive a mustang?? You just wanted to show me your douche mobile."
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
I said "it's late and you live kind of far. Just saving you money on the cab. I can call you one if you'd prefer." Drive her anyway.
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
We get outside her place and she just sits there. Doesn't look at me. Doesn't get out. Staring straight ahead. I say "nice to meet you…"
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
And open my arms for a hug goodbye to initiate her leaving. She continues to sit for a second and then says "oh.. yeah I can hug you."
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
As if I was the one that wanted and needed it. Then taps my back, gets out, and RUNS full speed in heels to her front door.
— Ryan Clarke (@NoLogsNoCrime) September 19, 2017
Okay, now that we’ve all suffered from some traumatic flashbacks, let’s all just agree to never date again.