Sickening: 35 Women Recall The First Time They Were Sexually Harassed
1. Grade 10 boy came up to me and whispered in my ear, ‘I am going to rape you.’
“I was 7 walking to class in school. In Russia grades 1-11 are in the same building. Grade 10 boy came up to me and whispered in my ear, ‘I am going to rape you.’ I was terrified. I was too embarrassed to say the truth and told my dad that someone threatened to beat me up, when dad asked why I was crying, and he reassured me it won’t happen. If I mentioned the word ‘rape,’ my dad would have likely beaten the crap out of the guy. Nothing happened, thankfully.”
2. When I was 4 my father told me that my pussy was much prettier than my mom’s.
“When I was 4 my father told me that my pussy was much prettier than my mom’s. I don’t actually remember this happening but apparently I told my mom and she was really shocked about it.
When I was 8 an older boy asked me if I was a virgin. I had no idea what a virgin was. I thought he was talking about the zodiac Virgo so I told him ‘No, I’m a Taurus.’”
3. When I was little my dad would make me take baths and take off my underwear to sniff my panties.
“I think I was about 13 and it was my own dad. I was doing a handstand and he said that I would fall on my face and flatten my boobs. He laughed and laughed, oh how he laughed. He was his own biggest fan. When I was little he would make me take baths and take off my underwear to sniff my panties. He didn’t touch me but what a perv.”
4. A car stopped at our level and one of the two men inside grabbed me and tried to get me in the car.
“11.
My twin brother and I were walking home after school, a car stopped at our level and one of the two men inside grabbed me and tried to get me in the car.
I struggled, my brother helped, then we ran in the bakery that was—luckily—right at the corner of the street.”
5. Fucking 9 years old….I was in my front yard playing when an old man came and grabbed my wrist.
“When I was 9. I felt violated and I swear I began seeing men differently… Fucking 9 years old….I was in my front yard playing when an old man came and grabbed my wrist, then my lower back and started telling me how he’s fuck my little hole, literal words. I was confused and scared because he was being aggressive and started dragging me while I protested. Grandma walked out and he sprinted out, but she didn’t recognize him, and since it was a small countryside town, that was weird.”
6. My mom was engaged to a man who used to tell me how sensual my underwear was.
“My now ex-stepsister used to have this friend who would chase me around the house and dry-hump me. I was 14, he was 18. Also around the same age, my mom was engaged to a man who used to tell me how sensual my underwear was…even though they were regular bikini cut flower print? Yeah, that was a weird one. When I was 17, two men in their 40s stalked me and a fellow underage coworker out to our cars after closing one night after trying to flirt with us at the front counter an hour earlier. I have never even been attractive nor had big boobs or a nice bum, not in my entire life. You don’t have to be attractive to have unwanted advances, though.”
7. An elderly man sitting next to me leaned in close to my face and whispered that I have bedroom eyes and tried to kiss me.
“I was on a crowded city bus, and an elderly man sitting next to me leaned in close to my face and whispered that I have bedroom eyes and tried to kiss me. I was fucking 12! I didn’t even know what bedroom eyes meant!”
8. I turn around to see a man in his 60s actually licking his lips while checking me out.
“I was at the store, 11/12 years old, suddenly hear someone say ‘nice legs’ from behind me. I turn around to see a man in his 60s actually licking his lips while checking me out.
I saw him in the neighborhood a few times after that and always avoided him like the plague.”
9. The first one I really remember being scared of was my mom’s boyfriend.
“I’d say the first one I really remember being scared of was my mom’s boyfriend. He would always ask to take me and my sister out without my mom. He would always tell me that he loved me, wanted to marry me, wanted to kiss me. When I was young, I’d say probably 11-12. Luckily my parents’ divorce gave me an attitude so I would always just tell him to leave me alone. I remember we went on vacation with him and he just kept wanting to spend time with me in the hot tub. I am really glad they ended up breaking up; he added me on Facebook a while ago but I did not add him.”
10. This guy at a store I was in grabbed my butt and told me he liked it.
“The first that I can remember was when I was in the second grade—so maybe 8? And this guy at a store I was in grabbed my butt and told me he liked it. My mom was standing right next to me, but she didn’t see it happen. He was probably in his thirties. It’s hard to tell when you’re that young. Everyone looks older.”
11. The guy grabbed me and hoisted me over his shoulder. I froze in shock at first but then I started screaming to let me down.
“11 when I’d get hollered at by men on the street.
The scariest was when I had just turned thirteen, I was going to a friend’s birthday party. She held the party at the pool in her apartment complex, but I couldn’t swim so I was sitting on the sideline. When the party was winding down, I was waiting for my mom to come pick me up while I sat by the pool.
A man approached me and started talking, saying how cute I was. I asked if he was someone’s dad, he said yes. When I got up to check the street out front to see if my mom had come (it was before cell phones) the guy grabbed me and hoisted me over his shoulder. I froze in shock at first but then I started screaming to let me down. Nobody came to help me, I guess they thought he was a dad wrangling his kid. When he passed by the fence of the pool, I managed to grab hold and loop my arms around it and kept screaming. Eventually he let go and ran off.
I was so shaken up I couldn’t talk about it that night. My mom thought I had a fight with my friends. When I eventually told her, her response was to make me get me a pixie haircut ‘because it was such a hot summer.’ She also decided to buy all of my clothes in the men’s sports section, so I ended up looking like a boy on a basketball team. Looking back, I guess she was trying to do whatever she could to protect me.”
12. When I was 12 a guy in a car slowed down to pick me up by offering me a ride.
“When I was 12 a guy in a car slowed down to pick me up by offering me a ride. He tried to pretend he was a family friend. If somebody else hadn’t been at the city bus stop I know he would have gotten out and tried to grab me. A week later he did and actually grabbed two girls. They fought back and escaped.”
13. A boy in my grade told other people I was a whore… because I wouldn’t show him my barely-there boobs.
“Middle school, I think was the first time I remember things specifically directed at me. A boy in my grade told other people I was a whore…because I wouldn’t show him my barely-there boobs. But as early as 4th or 5th grade I can recall comments directed at classmates who had started developing a little earlier than me.”
14. I had never felt so scared and violated.
“I was 13, at the beach with my friend. We were in bikinis. A man (who was fully clothed) came and sat directly in front of my friend and I and held a digital camera out to his side and was either filming and/or taking pictures. We noticed right away and left, but I had never felt so scared and violated. Let alone the fact that I was a child and this man was in his mid-thirties.”
15. They started making comments about my breasts, which had started to come in and it made me super uncomfortable.
“I was eleven and I was riding my bike down the street. Some high-school boys blocked my path, telling me to stop so they could talk to me. They started making comments about my breasts, which had started to come in and it made me super uncomfortable because I was self-conscious about going through puberty. I had gotten my period by eleven, I think I was the first amongst my friends.
Anyway, they were catcalling me and asking me how old I was and thinking I was a liar when I told them the truth. I just wanted to leave because they outnumbered me and the attention made me embarrassed. One of them tried to grab my breasts and I got on my bike and rode away as fast as I could while they laughed and jeered. I just wanted to go home to play Barbies with my friends and these guys scared me.”
16. He cornered me in the kitchen and started talking to me about what he’d like to do to me with whips and chains.
“I was 16 and had a 30-year-old male coworker who was a divorced father of two. He cornered me in the kitchen and started talking to me about what he’d like to do to me with whips and chains and other overtly sexual things. I slapped him across the face, which encouraged his ‘I like it rough’ talk. I eventually was able to scurry away and tell the manager.”
17. My mom was engaged to a man who used to tell me how sensual my underwear was.
“My now ex-stepsister used to have this friend who would chase me around the house and dry-hump me. I was 14, he was 18. Also around the same age, my mom was engaged to a man who used to tell me how sensual my underwear was…even though they were regular bikini cut flower print? Yeah, that was a weird one. When I was 17, two men in their 40s stalked me and a fellow underage coworker out to our cars after closing one night after trying to flirt with us at the front counter an hour earlier. I have never even been attractive nor had big boobs or a nice bum, not in my entire life. You don’t have to be attractive to have unwanted advances, though.”
18. Men would honk their car horns and whistle at me.
“I can think of an incident when I was 11 after getting off the bus to go home that men would honk their car horns and whistle at me. But I don’t think that’s the first time that happened.
I started walking more places by myself around 17-18 and literally had men follow me in the street and try to corner me in an alley. I always wore jeans because I was self-conscious about showing skin and would always hear comments about how I should take them off because it was so hot outside.
Just last summer a guy on the bus, late twenties, started masturbating while staring at me. He ended up exiting at the same stop as me and followed me around my neighborhood until I lost him in a 7/11 and sprinted home.”
19. One of the other 11-year-olds told me in class that we should date because I have big tits and he has a big cock.
“When I was like 11 I hit puberty hard. One of the other 11-year-olds told me in class that we should date because I have big tits and he has a big cock. All the kids laughed, including me. I felt self-conscious about developing and it felt like a socially acceptable way to self-deprecate. It got weirder that same year when my dad’s old high school friend, recently out of 8 years in prison and reconnecting with his old buds, told me I was pretty and gave me white lingerie for my 12th birthday.”
20. I remember a bunch of older boys asking if I had wet dreams about them and about my pubic hair.
“I can’t remember how old I was the first time it happened. I was in 5th grade though, so 10 or 11? I remember a bunch of older boys asking if I had wet dreams about them and about my pubic hair. I didn’t even know what pubic hair or wet dreams meant, but the way asked and their tone made me feel embarrassed. I knew something was wrong but I couldn’t tell what it was. The next year my boobs grew in, so it was all men-shouting-gross-things-from-cars whenever I was out alone in public from that time forward. That only started to slow down when I gained a significant amount of weight after an ankle accident when I was 24. It still happens, but not as much. I find it a lot more comfortable to be out in public now that fewer men see my body as easy to sexualize. I love that I can walk to work without regularly getting harassed.”
21. My stepdad told me he thought I had a nice butt.
“When I was 10 (?) My stepdad told me he had walked around a corner in a bookstore and thought I had a nice butt. He meant it as a warning that other guys would think the same thing, but it came off as very creepy.”
22. When I was 8, I remember one of my brother’s friends (he was 15 or so) asking me to sit on his hands to keep them warm.
“When I was 8, I remember one of my brother’s friends (he was 15 or so) asking me to sit on his hands to keep them warm. My brother had gotten up to have a shower after playing video games. I was really confused and curious why I would have to sit on his hands. He said to keep them warm, because I was so hot. This back and forth went on for a while, I never sat down, then my brother came back from the shower and we talked about something else. Then they went out rollerblading, and I played with my dolls.”
23. A 13-14-year-old boy told me my vagina was pretty. I was 6.
“A 13-14-year-old boy told me my vagina was pretty. I was 6.”
24. When I was five…FIVE…an uncle made me suck his dick.
“I have three sisters, so four of us girls, and I always hoped that I would be the one-in-four statistic so my little sisters wouldn’t have deal with that crap. Turns out we compared notes recently (we are all in our thirties) and we all have been sexually assaulted.
I was a blonde kid in the 80’s and tons of much older men blew kisses at me in ways that were creepy. My mom told me to smile at them, but it always felt gross.
When I was five…FIVE…an uncle made me suck his dick. I brought it up to my dad as a teenager and he told me ‘that’s just what boys do’ and said he didn’t want to hear about it anymore.
When I was in the 5th grade, the kid next to me groped me and always tried to hit my crotch with pencils and rulers. It took a lot of convincing to get my teacher to move us apart, and I was stuck sitting next to him for several months. My life was miserable and I wished I could die.
Other sketchy things happen regularly, but it’s just ridiculous the things we have accepted as ‘normal.’ The things I mentioned above took place when I was clearly a child and hadn’t developed, but just because someone might look mature doesn’t mean they are asking for these comments or actions.”
25. He asked me if I’d ever had an orgasm.
“For reference, this happened in 1993:
I received a phone call from a guy when I was 11 years old. He said he was doing a research study for the University of Hawaii (the local college) and asked if I could answer some questions. I agreed. He asked me things like my age, grade, and my name. I was naive and I answered honestly. He asked if I had an older sister. I did not. He said it was fine and asked a couple more questions.
He then asked me if I’d ever had an orgasm. I stuttered a few ‘what the hell kind of study is this’ questions while he attempted to assure me it was legit while continuing to ask, in a very calm manner, if I’d ever had an orgasm. I hung up.
My memory of exactly what happened after is a little fuzzy. I was home alone and scared as hell. I’d never received any sort of sexual attention from anyone at that point in my life. I felt confused, disgusted, and frightened.
He tried calling back the next week. I told him I’d call the police and I never heard from him again.
A few years later I was chatting with two of my closest friends and found out they had been called by the same guy. I didn’t realize until I was an adult that the creep caller was likely someone we knew (we went to a very small private school). Either that or this guy was a prolific creeper calling every girl in the phone book. Both possibilities gross me out for very different reasons.”
26. That secret was that he had an ‘exciting’ ice cream in his pants and he would like us to taste it.
“I was around ~8 and on a beach with my friend and her mom. We were playing horses, having really fun.
This old fat dude who sit in front of us staring us came to us and asked if we wanted an ice cream. He was fucking weird and instantly creeped us out, but since I was shy and was taught adults must be respected we didn’t immediately leave. He told me I was beautiful and that he had a secret for us. That secret was that he had an ‘exciting’ ice cream in his pants and he would like us to taste it. We ran like hell. This was not the only time something clearly dangerous like this happened though. Once I was coming home with my friend when a car full of middle-aged men slowed down next to us and tried to talk us into getting in. Luckily there was a store close where we run and called her mom to pick us up.
I would say around 9-10 things started to change and men started to notice me. It was horrible. Honestly. I remember comments from my creepy neighbor, my friend’s dad, the dude who used to work with my mom, my coach, just people passing by. Those being adult men, dudes in my school or teens being a completely different thing, I think some older boys commented on my looks the first time when I was 10 or so, and in general they were the worst. Not only comments, the stare is something you can’t mistake when you get it. It makes you feel vulnerable, scared and ashamed of yourself when you are a child. You just want to hide and cry out of disgust.”
27. Creepy old dude just made some kind of ‘mmm’ noise. Made my stomach drop.
“11 in Walmart. Creepy old dude just made some kind of ‘mmm’ noise. Made my stomach drop. My mom was pissed. That stomach drop feeling stayed with me for years. Even if it was from a boy my own age that I liked. Just hard to shake for a while.”
28. An elderly guy made smooching noises at me and made huge gestures with his hands imitating breasts.
“When I was around 7 or 8 years old. My family and I were on holiday, and I wasn’t wearing a top as I was just a child. There was nothing there, you know? Well, an elderly guy made smooching noises at me and made huge gestures with his hands imitating breasts. Then he winked and started walking towards me.
Parents never saw, but I’ve never worn an even mildly revealing top since and that was over thirteen years ago.”
29. I was in 2nd or 3rd grade and he asked me if I was a virgin.
“One of the overtly pervy stranger types cornered me for the first time at a Marshalls (craft store) when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade and asked me if I was a virgin. I didn’t know what a virgin was so I said I didn’t know and he offered to check for me. Put his hand on the back of my neck and I just bolted. He was in his 20s I think, decently attractive, and in the store with his wife.”
30. He swung open the door while I was walking by. Furiously masturbating.
“7 or 8 years old. Walking home about 2 blocks from school. Suburban neighborhood. I’m walking down the sidewalk and this small pickup truck is parked by the road. He swung open the door while I was walking by. Furiously masturbating. Only I didn’t know what he was doing, I had never seen anything like it. He said hi and smiled really big. ‘Come here.’ I didn’t know what he was doing and his arm was moving so fast I was sort of frozen for a moment and paralyzed with fear. Then I took off like a bat outta hell. Only the first in a lifetime of weird shit from men. Some close calls but I’m a lucky one it seems.”
31. I turned my head to see him holding his penis and sort of swinging it.
“Around 11 or 12, like many of the other posters here. I was overdeveloped for my age but definitely still looked like a minor. I was at the corner store looking for a movie to rent.
A guy walked up to me as I was looking at the cartoon VHS tapes and asked if I had seen ‘this one’?
I turned my head to see him holding his penis and sort of swinging it. I ran out of the store and didn’t stop till I got home.”
32. Some high school guys shouted at me, telling me how much they wanted to ‘give it to me’ and ‘show me a good time.’
“I was in 4th grade maybe, so 10/11 years old. I was walking home from the pool and some high school guys shouted at me from a park across the street from where I was walking, telling me how much they wanted to ‘give it to me’ and ‘show me a good time.’ When I got home I told my mom about it, and she marched me out to the park to confront the boys, but they had (thankfully) already gone.”
33. I was 11 when I had to switch schools due to sexual harassment and bullying.
“I would have been about 9 when men started talking about my bedroom eyes. 10 when relations started talking about what a gorgeous figure I had, and street harassment and catcalls started. 11 when I had to switch schools due to sexual harassment and bullying.”
34. My dad used to always say I was ‘attractive.’
“My dad definitely. He used to always say I was ‘attractive.’ The way he said it gave me the creeps. Later found out he is a rapist. Don’t talk to him much anymore.”
35. A boy in the same orchestra as me tried to kiss me. He was 14. I was 7. I bit his nose hard enough to draw blood!.
“First unwanted (attempted) sexual contact: a boy in the same orchestra as me tried to kiss me. He was 14. I was 7. I bit his nose hard enough to draw blood!”