Stop Apologizing For Being Yourself In Love


Being a chronic over-thinker and an admitted hopeless romantic is a special kind of hell.

One part of you is contemplating and analyzing every single way something you’re about to say or do can go horribly wrong, while another part of you wants to ignore any of those possible realities and do what is in your heart.

I’m a firm believer that you should always follow your heart when it comes to love, and that you should never hesitate before doing so.

If you’re lucky, things will work out exactly the way you had hoped — she’ll swoon over the grand gesture, or he’ll reciprocate the feelings you just professed to him. Most of us won’t be that lucky, and nor will you the majority of the time.

You’re bound to get rejected at some point.

You’re bound to scare them off at some point.

You’re bound to get heartbroken at some point.

The best thing to do is to keep moving forward every single day. The worst thing you can do is look back and stew over what could have been.

Continuing to sulk over it will never help you grow as a person.

Stop pining over the person who doesn’t want you. Stop beating yourself up for doing what you felt in your heart to be right. Stop apologizing for being yourself.

I’ve told myself too many times that I’ve ruined a number of potential relationships by being “too much.” It wasn’t until recently that the realization set in that, while it may be partially true, being “too much” was not the cause for why it didn’t work out. We just weren’t right for each other.

I am “too much.” I care too much, I try too much, I do too much, I love too much, and dammit, I’m proud of that.

I don’t see the reason to apologize for it with any hint of sincerity.

Was it “too much” that I asked to pick you up on the first date? I’m sorry, but that’s how my parents raised me. Was it “too much” that I got you a gift, even though we’re not exclusively dating? I’m sorry that I was thinking of you and thought you might enjoy it. Was it “too much” that I cuddled with you at the end of the night? I’m sorry that I didn’t show you the door.

By apologizing for doing whatever feels natural to us, we’re depreciating the value of our care.

When we apologize for authenticity, we’re telling ourselves, “There’s something wrong with me,” when in reality, you and this person just weren’t meant to be.

One thing I’ve learned through nearly three decades of over-thinking is that the answer is usually simpler than I’m making it out to be. There is nothing wrong with you, and there’s nothing wrong with them. Sometimes it just didn’t work — that’s it.

If you’re going to apologize to anybody for anything, start by apologizing to yourself for thinking — even for a moment — that you should change the way you are.

Embrace your originality, because chances are that it will be exactly what your future partner loves about you.