What Happens After They Forget You

No one talks about the notes written on your phone—notes bearing the tears on a cold April night, notes which bore witness to the unshed ones. These notes hold truth to every waking moment feeling jaded and subdued. They were the words of the hurt and pain—of wet pillows after realizing that he is never coming back.

No one talks about the old photographs on the counter gaining dust, withering with time. They were old Polaroids and stories of the past. They were once real—a time in the past which you remember just enough to forget why you needed to. They paint a thousand words and nights when he made you his own.

No one talks about the words that made you a believer of the impossible. How those words were once the truth you held on to like a promise. No one talks about how those words were taken away and left you broken, just like a promise. Yet they remind you of innocence that’s now long gone.

I guess when it’s all over, and when the clouds and storm start to recede, all you’re left with are memories. And much like unspoken words, they can haunt and hunt you down in ways they only know how. Realizing that you’re back to being strangers with the person you once fell head over heels in love with is as crushing as a full-on breakup.

When they start forgetting you, you also have to start remembering why they needed to. You have to accept that you no longer exist as one here in the now. You have to find your old self again after losing the one real thing you own—yourself. The battle has been fought. Who won? No one. That’s the game of love. You paid the price for what you subscribed for.

After they forget you, you have to start talking about what you gained. Appreciate the roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Understand how it was for the best to grow separately. Accept that you will pass on the same street you both walked by, get the same latte he used to get you on Mondays, listen to the songs that would surely remind him of you, and dance again in the refrigerator light.

You have to talk about why him forgetting you is the best way forward. Maybe the timing wasn’t right; maybe he only saw you in his dreams and not in his reality; maybe you had the translations mixed up. You have to talk about how you loved him so, but you have to let it go.

After they forget you, you have to remember Neruda and a line to his poem which reads, loving is so short, forgetting is so long. Remember the line and relate to it. Feeling the pain of being forgotten is the first step to letting it go. Relate to it because you have to talk about other stories similar to yours. You’ll be surprised to know you are never really alone in this process.

And when they’ve already forgotten you, accept that there is nothing else that you could do but trust that time will fly by. You have to accept that you will be okay, that there are better reasons to stay in the now and not look back. Pain is just temporary. Allow yourself to forget them because you deserve happiness.