What Happens When Your Crushes Never Crush Back


Why don’t my crushes crush back? I try to look, act, and speak like someone worth knowing, but it’s always to no avail. My friends seem to attract their crushes like moths to a flame, but yet I can’t produce the same results.

I wonder if I’m too forward with them. Perhaps I should not be the one who asks them on a date; maybe I should just wait for them to do it (if they ever do). Women’s magazines, self-help dating books, and even some advice articles on dating written by men ram the concept of “let men lead” down my throat, telling me that I should, in fact, not be the aggressor. The men probably balk at the idea of a woman initiating contact and subsequently planning a romantic date. I probably come across as a desperate fool who doesn’t get asked out enough that she resorts to doing the asking out herself, thus wrongly disrupting the dynamics of the genders in dating and relationships. I’m just too forward for their liking, and it’s my fault.

Acne scars seem to find solace on my body which is probably another reason why my crushes back away. I can understand that a guy doesn’t want a girl who has skin as spotty as a Dalmatian. Looking at my skin, they must think I don’t take care of it, thus leading them to believe that I might not take care of other important things. It must be embarrassing for them to be seen with a woman like me whose makeup can’t even hide her poor spots. When I acquire enough funds, I’ll spend some of it on getting my skin back to normal, and then maybe rejection will cease to exist in my life. I’m just too spotty for any potential love interest to find me attractive, and it’s my fault.

Guys always want an adventurous, center-of-attention girl, but I swear that they must think I’m neither of those traits. I suppose I should throw caution to the wind and go against my innate personality to attract the guys I desire. Boredom is a word I use to describe myself; I’m just not one to take uncalculated risks or aspire to be in the limelight, and I’m sure that hinders my chances with crushes. Maybe I should have forced myself to go climb that tall mountain peak with my ex, even though the rocks did seem unstable. Conceivably speaking, it’s possible that my ability to think of possible negative outcomes of situations makes me seem dull as dirt; if only I could turn that switch off and act without thinking. Guys dig chicks who do things in the spur of the moment. I’m just too humdrum for crushes to want anything to do with me, and it’s my fault.

Then again, what if the reason my crushes reject my advances has nothing to do with approaching them, acne scars, or cautious attitude? What if them rejecting me is just a part of life that I have to deal with? Maybe I’m not as flawed as I think. It is entirely possible that any man who I was meant to be with wouldn’t have me running around in my brain wondering why he rejected me. The guys that I am meant to be dating will make me forget about rejection altogether. They will not reject me because I like to think before I act, ask them out first and have a few acne scars because they will be too busy looking past that and seeing all the wonderful characteristics of myself, inside and out.

featured image – Helga Weber