What It Really Means To Be ‘Obsessed With Being In A Relationship’


I’m sure my mother reads some of what I write on here. It could be a couple of articles, or it could be most of them; but I know she’s read some of them. The majority of them talk, in some degree, about relationships; some of them talk about my preference to them over dating or randomly hooking up.

Whether she just made this realization months ago, or the day she asked the upcoming question, it’s not a hard science to figure out. So while I can’t figure out exactly why her comment struck a chord with me, I just know that it did.

“You’re obsessed with being in a relationship, aren’t you?”

“No, I just know what I want,” I responded, but I also remember what I felt and what I wanted to say.

I think that people – myself included – don’t always use the correct words to describe situations. Sometimes we fall into hyperbole without realizing it, or sometimes we just use a word that gets everyday use but is, in reality, sensationalized or flat-out incorrect.

“Stalking,” is a big one with girls.

“Oh my God, he’s like stalking me.”

Running into each other at the mall is not stalking. Him adding you on Facebook is not stalking. My personal favorite: Him calling or texting you after you gave him your number is not stalking. Stalking is a serious criminal offense and a term that shouldn’t be thrown around loosely.

“Crazy,” is a big one with guys.

“Dude, she’s crazy.”

Her texting you a lot is not crazy; maybe she just likes talking to you. Her asking about your past is not crazy; maybe she just wants to know what she’s dealing with. The latter may make her insecure, depending on how she asks, but it certainly doesn’t make her crazy.

There are plenty of people out there who are genetically pre-disposed to certain conditions and have no control over it; some need to be medicated and/or institutionalized for their own well-being. I doubt that girl you’re talking to fits the bill.

And then we come to “obsessed.”

Obsession is an addiction; something that is uncontrollable. Even if the obsession isn’t criminal, it’s probably not healthy.

Yes, I write a lot about relationships because it is a topic I’m passionate about, but I do not spend every waking minute of my life mapping out my wedding. Plus, it made me feel guilty about even thinking about the future; so in that regard alone, I was offended.

I’m glad I don’t have one of those mothers who is constantly giving the, “So when are you going to meet a nice girl and settle down?” talk or makes me feel like I’m going to die alone in a puddle of empty Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups wrappers, but that doesn’t mean I appreciate feeling like I’m out on the street yelling at women, “Why won’t you love me?!”

To me, there are worse things than having a son who values a monogamous relationship.

Would you rather have raised someone who believes in being committed one person, or someone who’s only looking to stick it into whatever hole he can find? Would you rather have a son looking for the right woman, or running away to avoid his baby mama?

I know that I think about and write more about relationships in a given month than many guys my age probably do in a year, but then again, I don’t think that a relationship is something you should be carefree about.