What It’s Like To Write About Love And Relationships When You’re Single

I’ve been writing for Thought Catalog for about a year now. The majority of my writing has been based around love and relationships, although I’ve been single for nearly the entire duration.

Some commenters have suggested that I have no grounds to stand on when writing about either subject since I was not in love or in a relationship at the time they were written. One of the best comeback comments to them I’ve seen was someone saying something to the effect of, “’You’re not eating pizza, therefore you have no stance on pizza.’”

Not being in love doesn’t mean you’ve never been in love, and it doesn’t mean you don’t know what the experience feels like. Not being in a relationship doesn’t mean you’ve never been in one, or that you don’t know what you want in one.

As far as I’m concerned, if you’ve experienced something, you’re entitled to an opinion on it.

I’ve been in love, and I’ve had my heart shattered into a billion pieces.

I’ve been in relationships, and all of them eventually came to an end.

I’ve dated. Some lasted one night, some a little longer; but all led nowhere.

Just because I had nobody to go home to or to call my own didn’t mean I didn’t know what I was talking about, and it certainly didn’t mean I was unqualified to state what I wanted in the future.

They say that those who do not examine history are doomed to repeat it, which is exactly why I think about love as often as I do.

What went wrong in the last relationship? How can it be different next time? What do I want in my next relationship? How can I make sure we get everything we desire?

Writing about love and relationships for nearly a year has served as a mental sifter for me; letting all of the negative thoughts flow through the strainer, while holding back all of the positive to be kept.

While I think that writing for Thought Catalog had nothing to do with landing my current girlfriend, I do believe that my writing has helped me find her. I dated multiple women between my first article until the last one published before we got together (yes, the irony is too real), and yet I didn’t enter relationship with any of them.

Now that I’m in a relationship, I don’t see that much of a mindset change. I still think about how to be the best boyfriend possible, and how we can work together so that we can both achieve the level of happiness we both seek.

I don’t feel more qualified to write about love or relationships now that I’m in one. If we break up tomorrow, I’m not going to stop writing about either. If we’re still together a year or two later, hopefully my lifestyle will allow me to continue writing; and if it does, I’ll likely still be writing about love and relationships.

I never really factored in my romantic status when writing about love. It didn’t happen when I was single, and I don’t see it happening now that I’m in a relationship.