16 Signs You’re What’s Known As A Reluctant Adult
By Ari Eastman
1. When referring to people who are older than you, you say things, “Yeah, there were a bunch of grown ups there.” But then you realize you are also a grown up. And that was kind of a weird thing to say.
2. Yes, you pay all your bills on time. But that doesn’t stop you from complaining and shouting, “RESPONSIBILITY IS TERRIBLE!” into the void.
3. You catch yourself occasionally saying Mommy or Daddy. WHATEVER, SHUT UP. IT’S ADORABLE.
4. You’ve got a slight case of Peter Pan syndrome. Not enough to keep you from actually getting things done and being a functioning member of society, but it’s definitely hovering right below the surface.
5. You’ll have a productive week of eating healthy, working out, and returning all your emails on time. But the next week? You eat an entire bag of Cheetos in one sitting. It’s all about balance, right?
6. You have a panic attack whenever it’s tax season.
7. You get SUPER excited when animated films from your childhood show up on Netflix.
8. Honestly, hearing The Lizzie McGuire Movie was currently streaming on Netflix MADE. YOUR. DAMN. DAY. (If you didn’t know, now ya know)
9. Whenever a peer of yours gets married or has a child, you get acid reflux. Like, when did this happen? Are we really old enough that this is a thing people are doing?!
10. Sometimes you forget to do laundry in time and end up swearing swim suit bottoms as underwear.
11. You still look forward to nap time.
12. The concept of seriously dating is still fairly confusing to you. So, what are we doing here? Do you like me? Like, like-like me? Please check a box: YES or NO.
13. You’re irrationally jealous when you see kids outside playing. ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS.
14. You rely heavily on Google. Your recent searches probably include things like: “How can I make money instantly? Is the zika virus still going on? At what age should I stop seeing a pediatrician?”
15. You think the penis game is hilarious.
16. You’re afraid you’ll always think the penis game is hilarious.