You Fucked Up, Remember That When You Try To Crawl Back Into My Life

I hope you miss me – I hope it haunts you how much you miss me. I hope you feel the a fraction of the suffering and pain you put me through. I hope you know how much you destroyed my life.

I thought you were the best thing that ever happened to me, but apparently I was just blinded by your ‘love.’

Apparently I didn’t mean anything to you because you made it pretty loud and clear with your actions that you didn’t care about me at all.

You’re the one who fucked up, you’re the one who ended this whether you said the words or not.

Remember that when you come crawling back, remember that when you text me just to ask how I’m doing; remember that when your friends ask me how I’m doing for you.

Remember that when you’re lonely and beating yourself up over the choices you made because I still hope it hurts like hell.

You can think I’m being dramatic, you can think I need to let it go and give you another chance, but you can let that thought go because I’ll never give you another chance.

I’ll never answer your texts, I’ll never follow you again on social media, I’ll never reach out to you when I’m missing you like hell because you don’t deserve me. You proved to me that you don’t deserve me, especially when I gave you nothing but all the love in my heart.

The worst part is I’m still convinced you have part of my heart because as angry as I am, I still love you – that’s the worst part. It still takes everything in me not to answer you back. It still makes me want to scream and cry when I see your name pop up on my phone. It still makes me want to grab your face and ask you what the hell is wrong with you. But I know none of that is worth it. I know I deserve more than what you gave me.

You can apologize all you want, but that doesn’t change the fact you fucked up. It doesn’t change the fact that I gave you my whole world and my whole heart and you foolishly shattered them both. It doesn’t change the fact that you destroyed everything in me. It doesn’t change the fact that I am suffering an insane amount inside my own head, questioning what’s wrong with me, wondering if I did enough and the thing is I know I did.

It doesn’t change the fact that even though you’re the one who messed this whole thing up, I’m still asking myself what I did wrong.

I gave you everything you could have wanted in this entire world and it apparently still wasn’t enough.

You really fucked me up this time and there’s no coming back from that because I couldn’t handle this pain again, especially not from you.

So when you think you’re missing me you better keep it to yourself. You better put down your phone and you better remember you’re the one who fucked this up, you’re the one who deserves to suffer and the one who should miss me like hell.

I gave you the world and it still apparently wasn’t good enough for you. Don’t call me anymore, don’t say my name, don’t ask my friends about me, don’t show up where you know I’ll be. Don’t try to come crawling back in my life anymore because I’m done with you, for good.

You made your grave, now you have to lay in it. Alone. Just like you deserve.

You fucked up, not me, so stop dragging me down with you and let me move on with my life.