30 Lovebirds Describe What It Feels Like To Find Your Forever Person 

25. Why is everyone describing the perfect part of having a SO and creating false expectations? There’s also a ton of shitty parts, mostly when things start going bad. There’s a reason why people in relationships are not only not necessarily in perpetual ecstasy but are many times miserable.

A probable reduction of independence. The possibility that you have to text or see each other every day or it means your mad. Fighting. A need to commit and not be able to seek other partners. The fact that this means that you might have to put up with many things you don’t like or accept the fact that things you like can’t be done. The need to go to family functions of your SO and talk to the weird aunt which just spouts conservative nonsense. Probably give up part of your time you can dedicate to realizing your dreams. There’s many many negatives.

I’m sure people here will say but not if you’re with the SO that’s perfectly compatible with you! That doesn’t exist. No one’s perfect or perfectly compatible. There was once a woman I loved and would have married. Don’t think there aren’t annoying things about her that I wasn’t exactly fond of. At first they’re even endearing. But that sort of thing passes with time. Which is logical since relationships, even amazing ones are work. They have lots of rewards but there’s work every day to them. In the long term. Sacrifices. What happens when you’re SO is an artist who’s perfect academy is in Florence but you’re a writer and the community that loves your product is in Buenos Aires. Everyone will say oh you breakup and find someone else. But it’s not so bloody simple since you develop an addiction to the person and hell you even build your life around them. People will say oh but you should have your own life where the person is just a part of it. Or you should be independent and happy on your own. Bloody theoretical bullshit. In practice you two got a lease for an apartment for six months and now what? Oh you have a dog with your boyfriend? Guess it’s time for King Solomon to say how to split it. Not to mention if people only got SOs when they were in a perfect mental state and had resolved all their past trauma and difficulties than no one would have a SO since everyone has their shit.

So in summary it’s neither perfection or hell, it’s a bit of both from time to time. Depending on how good the relationship is, maybe more to one side than the other.