6 Things To Remember When The Person You Love Cheats On You
By Afini Amir
1. Remember that cheating is a choice not a mistake. They made the conscious decision to risk everything they had with you to be with the other party. They chose them. If they could do it once, they can always do it again. Yes, there are rare cases where people learn from their mistakes and avoid repeating them. But ask yourself this: Is this person worth a second chance? Are you really willing to take the risk? Because if you cannot trust your partner to stay faithful in a relationship, how are you going to trust them with a bigger responsibility?
2. Don’t stay for the sake of love. I know it is easier said than done and you’re still probably madly in love with them. But remember, love can drive one insane. Love makes people do ridiculous things. When they crave for someone else’s attention, it proves that they are no longer in love with you. Yes they might still love you (I believe someone is capable of loving more than one person at a time), but that doesn’t mean they are still crazy for you.
3. Remember that you are worth it. When someone cheats on you, you start to question your worth. Let me remind you that your worth is not determined by how others treat you. They, on the other hand, are not worth your time, effort, love and affection. When you give someone all of that, you’re giving a part of you that you cannot take back. Nobody deserves to be cheated on. So do not continue to invest your life on someone who doesn’t appreciate you.
4. Stop blaming yourself. You might start to think that you’re not good enough – that you could have done more, love more, give more. Truth is you have done enough. Maybe, they found someone with something they have been looking for – something that you do not have or something that you couldn’t give. You gave your best but they decided they wanted something else. There is nothing else you could do that would have changed their mind. Hence, it is not your fault that they cheated on you.
5. Pick yourself up and move on. The recovery period is not easy. And time won’t heal the pain if you do not make an effort to move on. Keep yourself occupied. Re-evaluate your priority lists and start focusing on the things that are more important to you. Try out as many things as you want (especially those you couldn’t achieve while in a relationship). Prove to yourself you are better than trials and tribulations. And please remember this; moving on does not mean you are trying to get over the person, it simply means that you’re learning to live without them.
6. Hate their actions, but not them. This is hard, I know. But remember that they were once the biggest part of your life. They have been there for you when no one else was. They too, gave a part of them that they could not get back. Resentment towards them won’t do you any justice. It won’t make you feel any better. People make mistakes; this includes stupid and nonsensical ones. And the hard truth is, sometimes, when someone makes a bad decision, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are an entirely a bad person.