Ashlee Valentin

I Regret Acting Like I Had Forgiven You

That’s what I am. Regretful.

I needed you to abandon me so I could learn that the sky isn’t always beautiful shades of light blue, but also the deepest shades of black.

I was lost in you, and that made me more sure of who I was and what I wanted.

I was a person who lived to please the one she loved and fuck being that girl because she will never be happy.

You found me stuck in my own head. You introduced me to genuine love and incredible happiness and I could never thank you enough for that.

Instead of blaming myself for giving you a piece of me, I remind myself that you took it.

You were selfish and I realize now that you were never good enough for all the love I gave you.

You were undoubtedly the best thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of experiencing because that’s what you are. An experience.

I wish I wouldn’t have given everything I had into loving you because, maybe now, I wouldn’t feel so empty.

I would walk around the block after work in hopes that I would have some sort of revelation as to what I thought came next.