57 Hilarious Headlines That Perfectly Reflect Your Modern, Fucked-Up Life
“Selfless Friends Agree That It’s Alyssa’s Turn To Get The Most Drunk”
“Selfless Friends Agree That It’s Alyssa’s Turn To Get The Most Drunk”
“Realize that the world is round, but it isn’t fair.”
Some people’s favorite thing to eat, breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
“Midnight comes, and she drunkenly pukes on my shoulder, and it runs down my shirt. I then tried not to get sick on her. I failed.”
“I ignore my own resolutions. I just feel kind of good that I make the gesture, you know?”
“My cat, now deceased, peed on my head and pillow while I was sleeping.”
“While camping my dog barfed into my open, snoring mouth.”
“My mother gave me a can of creamed corn once. One of the main reasons I don’t talk to her anymore.”
“This girl I’d never met said that any woman who had sex with more than three partners before marriage is a whore. I reached out my hand and said, ‘Hi—I’m a raging whore.'”
“I learned it’s better to be alone than in a crappy relationship.”