Anxiety doesn’t adapt well to change or to life altering moments. Anxiety doesn’t care if you are excited about moving to another state, or if you finally got an amazing promotion. Anxiety doesn’t care about your accomplishments, because all it does is focus on your failures.
But what I want you to remember most is the moment you turned away. The moment you decided that this wasn’t going to work. The moment you shifted your gaze so you didn’t have to look at me. The moment you saw me crying and said nothing. The moment when everything changed.
Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be. To be ok with who we are without looking perfect. To be ok with who we are without the fame and the fortune. To learn how to be ok just as who we are now. No matter how long it takes.
When I first got this I was like, ‘um why did I just buy a twenty something dollar powder? Who do I think I am, Beyonce?’ But then I tried it, and kind of felt like how Beyonce probably feels every day.
Your lack of money: You complain about your lack of money, yet…you’re going out on the weekends and wasting your paycheck on drinks? You’re going to more than one happy hour per week? And you just bought a puppy? Think long and hard about how you are spending your money and make yourself a budget. (Please actually stick to it).
We both climbed into our car with just our heavy and winded breaths filling the silence and I vowed to never let myself go through that hell ever again. Except we did. A week later.
How to look at myself in the mirror and 100% be ok with my flaws.
Please do not let anxiety become your world. Please do not let anxiety consume you. Because even though you feel like this right now, it’s just a tiny moment. A minute or a day out of millions more that you will get to experience. So even though it’s hard to breathe and to think right now, you won’t always feel this way.
You learn that you can’t do everything successfully (and that’s ok).
You have got to stand up for what you believe in no matter how deafening it sounds. You have got to go after what you want, and not make apologies along the way. You’ve got to shout to the rooftops that you are special, and not glance down at your hands in embarrassment. You’ve got to believe in your abilities to succeed.