Everything I Know About Not Knowing Anything


We’re all living in a world where we’re expected to be up to date on everything, everywhere, all the time, because it’s literally at our fingertips. Well, I’m here to tell you I honestly don’t know a damn thing that’s going on. Let me clear that up: I don’t fully understand anything that’s going on.

Our collective brains are becoming inundated with a consumption of media that’s reached addicting levels, and in any given time period there’s only so much we can take in. We’re expected, nay, we desire to keep up with social media trends, follow all the latest TV series through streaming services, keep up with all our favorite musical artists on every platform possible, watch the newest films, read the latest blog posts, become humanitarians, have an opinion on political matters, keep up with the news (which always seems to be a devastating disaster), watch late night television to know what projects the aforementioned media producers have coming up next, find time to eat healthy and socialize – not on our devices.

That’s what it is like to live in this day and age. Really though, at any other point in history have people been told on a such a constant basis what to do, when to do it and everything they should know by now?

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Hold on–how about: 15 Avocado Recipes To TryIf You Like Avocados instead? Why must everything be so bombastic? Do I really need to know all those avocado recipes? Who honestly knows all those avocado recipes? How am I supposed to keep up with all that other media excitement when I’m over here avocado-less? Is there a reason there are five times as many avocado recipes I didn’t know about, than there are seasons of Orange Is The New Black and House Of Cards? How on Earth am I supposed to live in a world where people are walking around on a daily basis and may not even understand all the avocado recipes they’re missing out on? I don’t even know the first thing about avocados and all the glorious recipes they have in store for me and mankind, let alone can I fully understand the crucial nature of the daily happenings in the Middle East.

Who has time to focus on imminent nuclear warfare when there are literally more than a dozen avocado recipes they might be unaware of? If I can’t fully grasp a little green fruit (a fact I had to Google…it’s not a vegetable), why should I even bother knowing the current discussions on the AP newswire?

Should I really be expected to join in on a conversation about the philosophical nature of our being as humans as presented by Socrates, when, again, I did NOT know the more than two touchdowns worth of avocado recipes that I should be salivating over, like a dog hearing a bell ring, right about now? Never-mind the (American) football and Pavlov experiment puns slipped into that sentence; there is no way you could keep up with that if you haven’t had your avocado for the day – so I’ve heard, from a different article…not the one about the 15 recipes out there, which I’m unaware of.

Look, I’m just saying it’s pretty crazy there’s all these avocado recipes out there I’m expected to eat before my untimely death, and I’m supposed to pretend I’m adept enough to focus on the latest humanitarian efforts in Africa? REALLY? No, I don’t know anything, other than now knowing I don’t know enough about avocados. That’s everything I know – which is nothing.