Hey, Are You Tired?


My mom used to yell at me when I was 5. I constantly chased my dogs around the home. I kept jumping up and down all the way from the entrance to the tiger’s cage where my family spent a day in the zoo. I could not stop singing on the way home from school. I was such a bright and energetic kid back then. Everyone loved me. I was told to be sociable. Actually I was!

Wait. “Was”?

Not until I was isolated in the hospital after 3 days from my birthday in my freshman year that my sociable level drops down faster than gravity. I got Tuberculosis. Worse, I was an international student. No daddy or mommy was near by.

At that time, I felt upset. I hate myself. I was supposed to get outside and participate in zillions of clubs that I registered for. I hate my parents. I asked them why they gave birth to me when I had to carry on this sick body. What can I do in this hospital?

My social awkward started developing. I did not want to talk to people. I wanted to be alone. Please do not touch me. Please mind your own business. Please eat your donut. Please stop telling jokes and concentrate on teaching. Please.

And then, I asked myself if I was tired yet. More specifically, if I was tired of over sympathizing myself but never do anything to better it off.

Life is hard. Cliché. But it is true.

Everything is going to end. Cliché. But it is true.

I started pushing myself harder than I ever did. Being stuck in the hospital gives me more time to explore many different things that I have never thought I would do.

I try to learn Russian. I can speak Russian. That is an achievement. Cooking? “Meh, I just order food from restaurants”, said no more. I could make basic meals, and baking becomes one of my greatest hobbies. That is another achievement.

I use Couchsurfing to become a tour guide. This is the proudest achievement of mine.

My TB is finally cured. I am home right now with my parents.

Everything is going to end, but it takes time. Cliché. But it is true.