This Is My Kind Of Love

There is no way to define what love is.

Love is different for everyone, both in the way it makes them feel and what they’re expectations are.

But because love is different for everyone, everyone will have a different interpretation of what it is. I may not be able to give you a clear-cut definition of what love is, but I can absolutely tell you what my kind of love is:

1. My kind of love includes a trust so strong that you never question a thing. You value each other’s word over the passcodes to their phone or social media accounts. Neither of you think about cheating because you could never imagine living without the other, causing the other that level of pain, or betraying the trust you both have in each other.

2. My kind of love includes a physical attraction so strong that you can’t keep your hands off of one another. Whether it’s holding hands, a brush of the hair, or the gratuitous butt grab, your bodies are like magnets to one another. You can look at them in a way that says, “You are the most beautiful thing in my life,” in one moment, then look at them in a way that says, “I want to jump your bones right here and right now,” an instant later. (And they pick up on the difference between the two.)

3. My kind of love includes an attention to detail that marvels any great work of art. How you notice the small freckle on their right eye that’s always been there, or how you feel the callus on their finger from years in sports, music or their field of work. They don’t just like chocolate; they love Godiva chocolate, especially anything caramel-filled. You know not to get anything with strawberry (because of their allergies) or in dark chocolate (because they just despise the taste).

4. My kind of love includes a compatibility so perfect that the two of you are each other’s best friends. Neither of you are afraid to be naked, emotionally, with them. They know your darkest secrets and still see the light in you. You two aren’t mirror images of each other, but share many of the same interests. You indulge in the things the other person enjoys that aren’t your cup of tea because you understand that it’s not all about you.

5. My kind of love includes a compassion that is genuine. You ask them, “How was your day?” because you truly give a damn, not because you feel obligated. If they had a great day, you want to hear the excitement in their voice as they tell you about it. If they had a bad day, you want to be there for them to vent and want to be the reason it gets better.

6. My kind of love includes a spontaneity that always keeps you on your toes, but only in the best possible way. It could be something as simple as an “I love you” note snuck in their workbag, or something like sending a series of texts scattered throughout the day for plans you just made on the fly.

Noon: “I’m picking you up at 7 p.m. sharp at your place.”

1 p.m.: “You don’t need comfortable shoes.”

2 p.m.: “You looked amazing in that red dress from our first date…”

3 p.m.: “I’m in a New York state of mind…”

4 p.m.: “In exchange for your patience with these texts, I’ll give you a foot massage when we get back to your place afterwards.”

5 p.m.: “I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

7. My kind of love includes the kind of romance that is quickly becoming extinct. Whether it’s dancing in the middle of the living room or kitchen with each other, or just lying in each other’s arms until you both fall asleep, you understand that some of the most romantic gestures don’t cost a thing and require no planning at all.

8. My kind of love includes a humility that is both shared and unabashed. Whether it’s making “That’s what she said” jokes in your 50s or filming makeshift road trip music videos to songs on the radio in your 20s, neither of you are afraid to let loose and just be yourselves.

9. My kind of love includes the ability to love someone through their flaws or quirks because you understand that those flaws or quirks are exactly what make up the person you love.

10. And above all, my kind of love includes the never-ending feeling of saying to yourself, “How the hell did I get this lucky?”