What The Pandemic Taught Me

Before the pandemic, I was weak. It’s true. I was quiet and weak. I let people walk all over me and the worst part is, I was okay with it. Before the pandemic, I was 27 and was perfectly okay with spending the rest of my life with toxic people due to some unforeseen circumstances.

I was afraid. I was in a serious happy relationship and I wanted a future, but I assumed my whole life that I couldn’t have one, therefore the thought of not budging didn’t bug me that much.

Before the pandemic. 

Even after the pandemic, I was still afraid for a while. Of running out of toilet paper. Dying. Loved ones dying. Being out of a job. It started evening out though. There was a small light at the end of the tunnel. They were working on a vaccine. I could go to Walmart again. (Being out in public doing small silly errands was my happy place because I got to see people and observe them being in their own personal futures)

The light was there, and when it appeared, it brought a lot of life changes to the people around me. My fiance got fed up with his professional life and got a new job, new relationships were blooming despite the germy red tape surrounding our world, everyone seemed to be laughing louder and harder.

Everyone except me. I had made no chances. I was still sat on the couch stuck. After all, I thought it was my duty.

One day it all changed. Everything happened so suddenly that I didn’t know what was going on.

After the height of the pandemic, I am strong. I am 29. I am loud. I am more willing to advocate for myself. I am not perfect. I spent my whole life advocating for someone else that couldn’t so you would think I would be, but I am not. I still have my days. My quiet days, my meek little depressed mouse days, but then I remember that life is too short to be that way anymore. Everything could go away within a moment’s notice, so I can not afford to be stuck.

You can’t either.