When It Means When Your Soulmate Isn’t Your Lifemate


Most of us grow up with some notion of soulmates: this concept that there is a person out there, crafted from the same mold or perhaps even the same soul. Someone out there whom we connect with, far past the looks and the charm and the common interests. A person who speaks equally to our hearts, our brains, our bodies, and our spirits.

Our soulmate, our proof that Plato was right: that we are one half of those magnificent creatures that once frightened Zeus. And that, upon finding the other half of us, we become a force as great as the ancient gods.

And most of us are told that – because this pairing happens on such a divine level – we are guaranteed to meet, fall in love, marry, and create a life with that mate.

But what we forget is that – regardless of how spiritual we feel we may be – we are still creatures of Earth. We are bound by the parameters of the physical world: three dimensions, linear times. We are governed by things like geography, biology, chemical makeup. Synapses and chemical reactions and our own mortality.

Maybe you met your soulmate at the right place, at the right time, and – through the ups and downs, the ebb and flow – you created and lived and shared this life together with them.

But maybe you don’t.

Maybe you met your soulmate at the wrong place. The wrong time. Too young, too old. Too early, too late. Perhaps there were inner demons that made being together impossible. Perhaps one or the other person made a mistake that there was no going back from.

Perhaps addiction defined the relationship. Perhaps cancer cut things short. Perhaps one day, barely breaking ground in your relationship, you receive the phone call no one wants. A car crash. A bomb went off. A mugging gone terribly wrong.

What they neglect to mention in the fairytales is that this physical, natural world is tough, and there’s no guarantee for happy endings, or happy anything.

Sometimes your soulmate arrives in a flash, and leaves just as soon.

Sometimes your soulmate is not your lifemate.

And that is when the definition of soulmate changes. Gone are the “happy ever after”s and holy matrimony. Instead, we come to recognize that our soulmate has bigger purpose than kisses on Valentine’s Day.

Our soulmate is a force in and for our lives. Their presence elevates you, puts you on the path you were destined to be on. Helps you become more you – and usually without even realizing that they did. Your soulmate resonates so deeply that you can’t help but be affected energetically.

Your soulmate is an awakening, a rebirthing, an understanding. Your soulmate gives you insight into your own soul and solidifies the things that needed to be solidified. The presence of their soul highlights the cracks along yours and gives you a chance to heal, gives you a chance to rise up.

Their connection reminds you how connected you are, with everything. Your resonance with them resonates out, fortifying the parts you need fortifying, shifting the parts you need shifting, evolving in all the ways you need evolving.

A soulmate is a reminder of your own soul.

And that’s when you realize that you are surrounded by soulmates. These ties to your soul, people you swear were almost thrust into your life by divine force. People who shape you in one way or another. People who unknowingly put or keep you on the path you were destined for. People who remind you of your heart, your spirit, your purpose on this planet. People who shed light on the wounds that need healing. People whose very presence helps you heal.

Some who will be in our lives from beginning to end. Some who come in only for a very specific purpose and then are gone. But all have a vital impact.

And through these countless soulmates and lifemates, we slowly build up a pretty wonderful life for our souls.