44 Tips That Socially Awkward 20-Somethings Should Use To Make More Friends

15. Start conversations assuming other people have come up against equal/more challenges and don’t try to one up them or be defensive if they call you out on something. Everyone is facing their own battle, and even if it’s not fair that you have to know that without them telling you, it’s still a necessity when dealing with others.

16. One of the quickest way to make a friend is to share a light secret of some sort. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, but just trusting them with something said in a ‘this is a secret’ type tone, people feel special because you’ve entrusted them with something.

I keep my secrets to be about me (unless I’m saying something nice about someone like ‘they don’t know I saw them, but the other day they did XYZ nice thing for someone’ or ‘watch how excited they get when I mention my dog’). Usually, they’re a bit comical and ’embarrassing’ but I find it always breaks any sort of uncertainty or insecurity. No gossiping unless it’s about a genuine asshole and I’m 100% sure they feel the same way.

People like to be trusted, and to feel special. To feel included in something. To be in on the joke. And it usually leads them to telling you a similar type ‘secret’ and establishes a bond quicker and easier imo.

But I’ve seen people dump all their problems on someone before just after meeting them and I’ve seen people keep their cards close to their chest. I find this happy medium works best for connecting with people, and it helps if you can laugh at yourself.