50 Marriage Counselors On The Most Common Mistakes Couples Make

14. Holding onto resentment and then unleashing it at inappropriate times. For example, husband forgets to do a chore, and then wife unleashes on him not for forgetting the chore, but for the million other things he forgot, plus the fact that he’s been ignoring her plus the thing with her mother, etc. etc….

15. Always be polite and appreciative. Make sure you thank your spouse if they buy dinner, even if you share an account. Say please and thank you as you would to a friend or stranger. It’s the little things that matter. We all have a love bucket and the more positive things you add to the other person’s bucket the more room and grace you have when the negative things arise. Always always have more positives than negatives.

16. If there is one thing I would say is the most important factor in success or failure in a relationship, it is active listening. People nowadays simply do not know how to actively listen to one another. Social media and a false sense of hyperconnectivity make this issue much much worse. Older couples with beautiful mutually-supportive marriages have naturally identified the importance of listening, and have negotiated the ways their partner needs to be heard. Relationships succeed or fail on this simple premise. Be still, and listen to your partner.