Top 10 Bleakest Unpublished Blog Posts of 2009

6. “Expositorily Bleak” (February 5)

Seems like I was “peaking” on caffeine or Adderall when typing this. Just read “i only saw one burger king and it looked really shitty” and physically felt closer to crying.

Seems like I said some things about obesity. I seem interested in the concept of obesity. I seem playful in this blog post. I imagine myself 60-90 minutes later walking through Washington Square Park with a “zombielike facial expression” thinking things like “where am I…” and “what am I doing here…” while feeling [what seems like “nothing”].

i have two rooms now

i stay mostly in the second room, i feel really alone in the second room in a good way

i feel okay, like i’m not alienated, just being an interesting person

i have social things for the next three days that i feel are interesting

i have readings, i have 2-10 readings in the next 1-2 months i think

i am reading in germany at the leipzig book fair, something named ‘krautgarden’ is paying for me to go there, i think, i went to their website and saw ‘marco roth’ and ‘elif [something],’ two names i recognized

the reading is at 10 p.m. i think, it seems funny, i like germans

i think obesity has easily defeated america

i used to think obesity had defeated humankind but i went to taiwan and was reminded that it didn’t defeat all countries yet

i think taiwan has resisted fast food and defeated it

when i went there 8 years ago there seemed to be many mcdonald’s or some

now there are not as many

i only saw one burger king and it looked really shitty

i saw maybe two obese people in taiwan and they didn’t really look obese for some reason

i think obesity has not only defeated america but like ‘become’ america

now when obesity tries to attack other countries it is like america is attacking other countries

i like places where obesity doesn’t exist

obesity doesn’t exist as much in raw vegan restaurants, subcultures where people care about fashion, subcultures where people’s main goals is to ‘attract a mate,’ and many asian countries including japan and taiwan

when someone lets their novel become obese i feel like that is still obesity sort of

when i start reading a novel i can sort of tell if it is obese or not after maybe a page

i just thought ‘no, i don’t know what i am talking about, oh well, just keep blogging’

this post is completely unedited, so far i have been typing for maybe 10 minutes

i am listening to ‘glendora’ by rilo kiley

i feel like people in the internet lit community are going to fight soon

i don’t know, maybe not

i am going to post this now, feels weird, i just saw ‘livejournal’ sort of superimposed onto my computer screen

i hope my recent blog persona isn’t destroyed by this post but somehow deepened, creating a more lasting and intimate relationship in the minds of the readers of this blog in terms of me, yet also increasing the vast expanse of knowledge regarding my existence that is yet unknown, the combination of which will increase levels of _____, _____, _____, _____, and _____

i typed those five things then thought ‘that looks bad sort of, i’ll just delete them and put underlines there, maybe that will be funny and give off a positive feeling by seeming playful, rather than looking bad and making life seem weird for some people”