Top 10 Bleakest Unpublished Blog Posts of 2009

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4. “Futuristically Bleak” (August 4)

Seems like my feelings of bleakness reached a level where it became “unbearable,” to some degree, to discern my reality in a non-genre manner.

science fiction

honestly feels like i exist in a science fiction novel

feels like i’ve either traveled into the past and altered my present then traveled back to the present then back to the past to again alter my present and done that repeatedly until i forgot whether i was in the past or the present, ‘and am currently in an unknown area in time, unsure of cause and effect re past/present’

or like my life is the first dream that a machine has ever dreamed and my experience of reality is not known to anyone, ‘not even the machine, as it has not yet evolved the ability to be aware of its dreams,’ or something

not sure which one seems more accurate

not sure if i like science fiction overall

just want to scream ‘jesus’ loudly

just yawned loudly

feels like i’m experiencing some kind of bad feeling that has been ‘messed with’ by advanced technologies

Seems like I’ll probably be “fixated” on “just want to scream ‘jesus’ loudly” the last 20-40 seconds before I die.