Only Retail Workers Will Understand These 50 Stories About Serving Demon Customers

23. My wife was a pub landlady and I was one of her regulars, we caught a customer wanking to porn in the bar. It took less than 30 seconds from spotting him before he ended up swimming in the canal that ran alongside the beer garden, followed by his laptop and phone.

24. One guy called me a “mother f#$%er” because I couldn’t activate his phone on straight talk. I don’t work for straight talk. I said, “get out,” and pointed toward the door. He wouldn’t leave so I had to walk him out. Then he said he should punch me in the face. I told him to try it. He didn’t. If you’re too stupid to realize what store you’re in, you shouldn’t be allowed in public.

25. My manager had a guy come in and say, “I’d like to know how you’d taste.” She told him to get out right away, he throws a tantrum about how she can’t do that and freedom of speech blah blah. Security escorted him out of the mall and he was banned.